It's common in the world of making music to talk about struggling with finding "the space". Musicians may not use that term exactly, but they mean the same thing. It's the state of mind where you stop trying so hard to sound good or not screw up and you just play. It's a great feeling when it comes and it's the kind of thing that keeps musicians driven to play or perform again.
(In college, we had a master class with Kenny Werner who kind of originated the term. He wrote a book called "Effortless Mastery" that is all about finding the space. It's kind of a "new age" spirituality kind of thing, and so I had to take it in with a grain of salt.)
The past few weeks, I have felt like I was outside the space musically and in worship. I feel like I've been trying too hard to make a certain worship feeling happen or to make a certain musical experience happen by my effort. It might be because my health problems have been a distraction. It might be because the summer schedule is so light and I've taken a lot of days off. Regardless of the reason, it's been a little while since I've been looking forward to Sunday. I'm so thankful that grace is bigger than my feelings. I don't need to feel something to make it true. My relationship to God is not defined by my feelings at a certain time.
How do you get back in the space? Scripture meditation, prayer, practicing, personal worship?
That's a good question. I'm very rarely in "the space" when worshiping with the music team on Sunday morning, or if I'm there it's hard to stay there. I think the issue for me is that I never feel like I'm mastered a song which prevents me from really letting go in worship. I often get so fixated on the notes that I miss the message. It's a bummer and some weeks when I lead worship I feel like I've not REALLY worshiped but performed. Sometimes dropping to the melody helps me focus, but even then I'm focused on blending and the mix. Last week was a bit better for me, but it's an ongoing struggle.